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19 January 2011 @ 12:10 pm
So let's see. . . I've been sleeping like crap and plagued by stiff necks and headaches, so I bought a new pillow today that is supposed to offer more support, so maybe I will wake up tomorrow not feeling like crap?  That would be so great!

(That was super exciting, wasn't it?)

In less self-centered, whiny news, my grandmother recently underwent hip-replacement surgery after a fall.  She's fine, in good spirits, and I went with my parents up to visit her when she was in the bigger, better hospital upstate.  I have to admit that my medical science fascination nearly made an ass out of me more than few times as I wandered the hospital halls and was all "OMG it's like being on a TV show!!" and I somehow managed to rein myself in and didn't get up to read what was on the bags hanging from the IV stand although I was insanely curious.  

The weather has been heavy on the ice and snow, so the library has closed a lot, which means I haven't been working, which means I am running through my much smaller paychecks  with alarming quickness.  Hopefully things will settle down here shortly.
Current Mood: crankycranky
Current Music: Exit Wounds - The Script
10 December 2010 @ 11:22 pm
My wrist is killing me, I think it's from opening all those tubes of oil paints I have been neglecting.  I love art, I really do, and I'm good at it.   So it's sad that I have been doing so little of it lately, but it just stresses me out.  I worry what people will think of the final product and subject matter and ugh, stupid anxiety.  But anyhow a co-worker has hired me to paint a portrait so I've sucked it up and opened the paints again.  I feel a bit better about this because I have done a portrait for him before so presumably he was satisfied with it if he's asking me for another one.  But I fucking hate portraits, they are soooo stressful.  Gah.  Oh well, it's money, which I need, and it will get me painting again because I feel guilty for not doing it.   I mean it's what I studied in college, art, but when it came time for my thesis project and had to give an artist talk, I realized there was no way I could do this for a living without dying of stress-induced cardiomyopathy before the age of 30.  Just can't handle it.  

And thus the reason I went to library school.  So much less anxiety! lol.

Also the whole place smells vaguely of (probably toxic) paint now, which is also decidedly unpleasant.  And oh he wants the damn thing done by Christmas and I only got the reference photos from him Tuesday.  

Who am I kidding, though?  He could have given me the photos months ago, and if he didn't need it until Christmas, I wouldn't have started it until now anyhow.  Procrastination power, activate!
Current Music: Jon McLaughlin - "Human"
05 October 2010 @ 09:56 am
So, I'm still not dead.  I just have sucked at livejournal lately.  again.  Sorry?  I've been working a ton because one of the co-workers moved away and we haven't hired someone to replace her yet so we're all stretched thin to cover her shifts.  Today is the first day that I haven't had to set foot in the library in a month.  So, woo.  I am going to spend it sitting on my ass doing absolutely NOTHING, and it is going to MARVELOUS.

Although of course I woke up with a headache, but this peppermint tea and ibuprofen should make short work of that!  Try to ruin MY day, headache?  I THINK NOT!

Hmmm.  My brother is moving in with his girlfriend which is kind of weird.  It will be strange not having him around all the time.  I want to see "Let Me In."  The book was eerie and disturbing but I understand they've toned it down for the movie(s)--although I haven't seen the Swedish original yet, either.   I have about zero interest in the subject matter of "The Social Network," but I loooooove Aaron Sorkin's work and he wrote it so maybe I will see it anyway.  

House is pissing me off because I really don't give a crap about his 'romance' with Cuddy.  And this is not because I am opposed to Cuddy, but that a) if I wanted romance to be the focus of my doctor show, I would just watch Grey's Anatomy (which I don't) and b) House is an ASS.  He is essentially unlovable.  Why would any woman ever fall for him?  He's nasty to everyone.  Glee, on the other hand, continues to be cheesily amusing.  I mostly just watch it for the evil cheerleading coach though, she's my favorite. And that one cheerleader who is really dumb and says amusing things that make no sense.  I like her too.

All these rumors and updates about Breaking Dawn: The Movie make my heart want to vomit.  They are seriously making this movie?  Really?  Without like, massive (MASSIVE!!!) changes?  So we're going to have one whole movie about how the evil demon fetus is killing the protagonist (honestly, I hate Bella.  GO, DEMON FETUS, GO!), and then a SECOND movie about how sweet and adorable the evil demon baby turns out to be?  With Benjamin Button effects? 

Current Mood: complacentcomplacent
12 July 2010 @ 10:33 pm
Hey so I didn't die at the airport or on the plane!   Having a nice vacation and am wicked proud of myself for ~facing my fear~ lol.  It was all really easy actually, like to the point of unreality even.   When I went to baggage claim my bag was magically the first to appear.  Thank you, travel gods.
09 July 2010 @ 11:05 am
YAY I have made it through check in and security without a melt down, and am now waiting at the gate! So far, so good.
09 July 2010 @ 12:43 am
I am flying for the first time ever tomorrow (well, today, technically.  In 12 hours I will be on a plane) and I am fucking terrified.   And not of the flying part.  I'm actually kind of excited about it.  I mean this isn't a fear of heights or a worry that the plane is going to crash terror.  This is pure social anxiety.  I HATE going into situations where I don't know what to expect, because I assume that I will make a complete fool of myself because everyone else will know what they are doing and I won't and people will get upset with me and ahhhhhh.   The lady at the check-in is going to be a bitch, they are going to give me the third degree at security and I will hold up the line and everyone will hate me, and then when I get on the plane I'm going to not be able to find my seat and look like an ass, and the person sitting next to me is going to be super chatty and want to talk to the whole way when I just want to be left alone.

I realize the odds of all that falling down on me is pretty unlikely, but that's how my mind works.  Oh and I am doing this all by myself, which is what makes it so terrible.  If I had someone with me I would be moderately terrified, but all alone I just want to die.  And I'm twenty-fucking-six years old, how sad is that? 

But I can't wait until tomorrow is over.   Because I am going to feel like the bravest person on earth once I just suck up and DO this.    

Also I am going to miss my cat like crazy.  lol.  Take good care of my kitty, family!
01 July 2010 @ 04:20 pm
How do you feel about the upcoming Twilight film? Are you a fan or a critical bystander?

Um. . . . I don't even know how to answer that.   I've said it before and I'll say it again: I've never been so ambivalent about something in my entire life.   I hate the main characters, I hate the story, I hate the writing style hate hate hate hate hate the fourth book more than is reasonable.  

And yet . . . I am emotionally invested in a number of the secondary characters.  I don't know how that happened.  I suppose it was some sort of coping mechanism as I was reading, like I just had to find SOME reason to justify reading the things?  I don't know.

So I guess I am a fan of certain characters? Carlisle and Aro, chiefly.  I just find the whole idea of their friendship really fascinating, because in some respects they are very similar, and others they are completely at odds. Thank GOD Meyer never really got into it, because I'm sure she would have sucked the interesting out of it.  But I have no particular beef with the other non-Edward Cullens or the rest of the Volturi, and I actually really love Charlie in the movies (I didn't pay a great deal of attention to him in the books).  But, no, I would not say I was a fan of the series as a whole.   I have NEVER liked Bella, and I can't understand why she has Edward, Jacob, Mike and God knows who else after her.  She is the most boring, insipid, vacant character ever.  Their love is destructive and ridiculous, and I can't believe Bella gets rewarded with a happily ever after fairytale for making a bunch of stupid, selfish choices including becoming a vampire.  Ahhhhhh!  She really needed to kill some people as a newborn to understand what she had gotten herself into, but nooooooooo! *rage*

I am going to see the movie though.  Tonight, apparently, because my brother and his girlfriend (who is a major twi-hard, so it's hilarious) are going.  I love watching these stupid things with them, because he hates being there sooooo much and she gets sooooooo excited.  And I just laugh for the most part, at them and the movies (except for Carlisle).  Good times!  I am sad there is no Aro, however! :(
Current Mood: amusedamused
25 June 2010 @ 01:08 pm
Title: Apollo 1722
Characters: Carlisle, Aro, Santiago, Francesco Solimena, mentions of multiple Volturi
Rating: K+
Category:  Backstory, Humor, Buddyfic
Spoilers:  Twilight, I guess?  Minimal, though.
Summary:  Yes, I am still on this.  Volterra, c. 1722.  Aro, a nighttime patron of the arts, shows his new friend his special gallery, and asks him to pose for a painting.  Carlisle POV.  Adapted from a series of posts at Pan Historia's Twilight - Eternity.

Disclaimer: Property of Stephenie Meyer. Other than Solimena, of course, who really did start painting Classical gods and 'ideal beauty' near the end of his career.  One would almost think she actually researched when she picked him!  Shocking!!



Sadly, we have been lacking a golden-haired youth to be our Apollo for quite some timeCollapse )

Current Mood: boredbored
22 June 2010 @ 12:04 pm
Oh, livejournal, why am I forever neglecting you?

So, hmm.  Yesterday I went in early to work because the library is air conditioned and home is not, so I was goofing off on my laptop before my shift started, when the girl I used to babysit (I suppose I still do?  Or not?  She's like 12 now, I guess she doesn't really need one?) appears at the desk across from me.  

Yes, she doesn't need a babysitter anymore because her mother just dumped her off at the library for a few hours.  I am not surprised.  I spent most of my teenage years watching this child 8 to 10 hours a day in the summer just because her mother didn't feel like dealing with her.  And she's adopted.  I mean, good God, you'd think if they wanted a child to badly to adopt one they'd pay more attention to her.  Well, the father loves her.  I like him.  He was at work.  But the mother works at a school and so had all summer off.


I don't know about other people, but I adored my babysitter when I was little.  I thought she was quite simply the coolest person on the planet, and I say this because it demonstrates that it is not really all that unusual that this girl absolutely loves me, and rather mistakenly thinks I am painfully awesome.  So I shut the laptop and whisper chat with her for awhile, because I know how devastated I would have been if I had ran into my idol somewhere and she couldn't be assed to talk to me.  It gets around lunch time and I need to take a little trek to the sandwich shop and the girl is all "Lucky.  I'm starving."   so I decide to be a good doobie and take her to lunch with me.  

She's prattling on about some anime or something or other I know nothing of and couldn't care less about, but I'm pretty sure I made her day, and that's a good feeling.  I would have been on cloud nine if Julie the Babysitter had ever hung out with me on her own time and took me out to lunch!   Hell, I still remember how tickled I had been when my favorite older cousin (whom I loved in the same manner as I loved Julie) bought me paper and pencils and asked me to draw a picture of Ariel for her.

I also bought my first airline ticket yesterday and am a nervous wreck about it.  It's not the flying itself, exactly--I mean, certainly that's part of it--it's mostly the stress of going to the airport BY MYSELF and trying to figure out what the hell I am doing.  But I know I have a habit of avoiding things that scare me, so forcing myself to do this will be a really good thing for me, assuming I don't die of an anxiety-induced heart attack, which is admittedly possible.
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: fiona apple - criminal
01 June 2010 @ 02:34 pm
Shit there's a lot of a Glee.  How embarrassing.  Whatever, I just really love covers of songs. If I don't have at least three versions of a song, I am not happy.

1. Fireflies - Owl City
2. Skeleton Key - Margot & the Nuclear So and So's
3. My Body is a Cage - Arcade Fire
4. Satin in a Coffin - Modest Mouse
5. Make You Feel My Love (cover) - Adele
6. You Ruined Everything - Jonathan Coulton
7. Like a Prayer (cover) - Glee Cast
8. The Crane Wife 3 - The Decemberists
9. Re: Your Brains - Jonathan Coulton
10. Comfort You - Eskimo Joe
11. Like a Virgin (cover) - Glee Cast
12. Float On - Modest Mouse
13. Whataya Want from Me - Adam Lambert (apparently he was on American Idol? I wouldn't know)
14. Dust Storm - The Spill Canvas
15. Missed the Boat - Modest Mouse
16. Physical (cover) - Glee Cast ft. Olivia Newton John
17. Rose's Turn (cover) - Glee Cast (Go Kurt, go!)
18.  32 Flavors - Ani DiFranco
19. Bad Romance (cover) - Glee Cast
20. Poker Face (cover) - Glee Cast

So, so embarrassing.
Current Music: re: your brains