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10 December 2010 @ 11:22 pm
painting woes  
My wrist is killing me, I think it's from opening all those tubes of oil paints I have been neglecting.  I love art, I really do, and I'm good at it.   So it's sad that I have been doing so little of it lately, but it just stresses me out.  I worry what people will think of the final product and subject matter and ugh, stupid anxiety.  But anyhow a co-worker has hired me to paint a portrait so I've sucked it up and opened the paints again.  I feel a bit better about this because I have done a portrait for him before so presumably he was satisfied with it if he's asking me for another one.  But I fucking hate portraits, they are soooo stressful.  Gah.  Oh well, it's money, which I need, and it will get me painting again because I feel guilty for not doing it.   I mean it's what I studied in college, art, but when it came time for my thesis project and had to give an artist talk, I realized there was no way I could do this for a living without dying of stress-induced cardiomyopathy before the age of 30.  Just can't handle it.  

And thus the reason I went to library school.  So much less anxiety! lol.

Also the whole place smells vaguely of (probably toxic) paint now, which is also decidedly unpleasant.  And oh he wants the damn thing done by Christmas and I only got the reference photos from him Tuesday.  

Who am I kidding, though?  He could have given me the photos months ago, and if he didn't need it until Christmas, I wouldn't have started it until now anyhow.  Procrastination power, activate!
Current Music: Jon McLaughlin - "Human"