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09 July 2010 @ 12:43 am
I am flying for the first time ever tomorrow (well, today, technically.  In 12 hours I will be on a plane) and I am fucking terrified.   And not of the flying part.  I'm actually kind of excited about it.  I mean this isn't a fear of heights or a worry that the plane is going to crash terror.  This is pure social anxiety.  I HATE going into situations where I don't know what to expect, because I assume that I will make a complete fool of myself because everyone else will know what they are doing and I won't and people will get upset with me and ahhhhhh.   The lady at the check-in is going to be a bitch, they are going to give me the third degree at security and I will hold up the line and everyone will hate me, and then when I get on the plane I'm going to not be able to find my seat and look like an ass, and the person sitting next to me is going to be super chatty and want to talk to the whole way when I just want to be left alone.

I realize the odds of all that falling down on me is pretty unlikely, but that's how my mind works.  Oh and I am doing this all by myself, which is what makes it so terrible.  If I had someone with me I would be moderately terrified, but all alone I just want to die.  And I'm twenty-fucking-six years old, how sad is that? 

But I can't wait until tomorrow is over.   Because I am going to feel like the bravest person on earth once I just suck up and DO this.    

Also I am going to miss my cat like crazy.  lol.  Take good care of my kitty, family!